Monthly Archives: May 2012

This one time, these squirrels….

This one time, these squirrels………..

When I was in college at USC (South Carolina) I decided to walk off campus one day, to the downtown area, and crossed the Capitol grounds to get there. On the way back, I saw a vendor selling peanuts to feed the squirrels that lived there. There were quite a few squirrels. I thought, “Oh-ho, I’ll do that,” with this Disney image of Snow Freakin’ White in my head, all the cute little animals gathered around, all of us singing some happy-crappy song…….LOL!

What actually happened is that I sat down on a bench with my bag of peanuts, threw out the first few…………and then was swarmed. Squirrels on the bench, on my lap, hanging over my shoulder, one scrabbling in my hair, all aimed directly at that bag of damned peanuts…….

I’ve always been an animal attractant. Dogs, cats, rodents…..a couple of times, I’ve even had hawks swoop down and land feet away from me. And let me tell you, those buggers are HUGE! But these squirrels, now……..they wanted those peanuts, and they weren’t going to wait around for me to dole them out, singing ‘Whistle While You Work’…….

Long story short, the squirrels won. I threw the peanut bag as far as I could, and the stampede followed…….and as soon as I was able to detach the one whose itty bitty nasty claws were tangled in my hair, I was OUT.

Lesson learned? I’m not flippin’ Snow White, and never EVER assume a squirrel won’t tear your ass up, for that peanut.

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